When it comes to relationships, there is not a magic formula that guarantees success for anyone. Relationships develop organically and one must follow their intuition and experience in order to make them work, although it is possible to identify several reasons that explain why they fail. Relationships often begin to fail as soon as they are started and the reasons are as obvious as they are overlooked.

The first one is the blind desire to be in a relationship at any cost. Beginning a relationship because one must be in a relationship regardless of the consequences is never a good reason to have one, but an excuse to cover up something else, such as loneliness. Loneliness is responsible for most of relationships i this world. Another excuse to be in a relationship is to change status, as if being single was a social disease. For many people, the only way they feel complete, -or at least they live under this illusion-, is that this is only possible through someone else.
The length of a relationship that begins due to lust would be determined by the lasting effect of the urge for sex and infatuation. While it is true that in some cases this could be years, or even a lifetime, lust should never be confused with love.  It is very common among young men to believe that having a girlfriend is synonym of guaranteed sex, anytime, any place. However, it is not only men, but also women who fall victim of physical attraction.
After the honeymoon period in a relationship and once the excitement of falling in love is over, comes a phase in which lovers relax. While there is nothing wrong with taking a break and some personal space, there is a tendency towards separation, especially when two people have spent months on end together. Being in love is such a powerful magnet that can make being alone, even if momentarily, a real challenge.
The problem that is presented in this situation is that such feeling comes to both people at different stages. One might still want constant contact and presence, while the other person might be needing more space. Lack of awareness of this fact could lead to an avalanche of feelings and emotions, trust being the first one to be challenged.
When being in a relationship becomes a life motif, once it is secured, it is very easy for someone to take the other person for granted. In this case there is not much difference between a person and a car, which people would use only when it is convenient. Taking people for granted is without doubt an invitation for the other person to move away from us and on to the arms of someone more attentive. It is important to remember that actions, beliefs and thoughts are energy. Even if this energy cannot be felt physically, the intention behind is perceived by others.
The last reason, less obvious and well hidden can act like a cancer to any person, making very difficult for someone to keep a relationship with anyone even when love and circumstances appear to be perfect.
Everyone is born with a memory as to what their purpose in life is. The purpose is different for each individual and in order to have a fulfilling life, one must follow it. However, following and accomplishing our purpose is not an easy task. As children we receive an incredible amount of information under which the purpose of the soul lies ignored. There is no spiritual dimension in social conditioning, therefore, the soul suffers. However dedicated one is to earthly matters, one will feel the soul pushing through, giving us constant signals of what we are doing wrong. The soul is more powerful that any man created belief, and it is essential for it to fulfill its purpose.

As we grow up, social conditioning pushes us away from our divine purpose, as we are educated merely to have a successful life within the parameters and beliefs of society. The immediate consequence is the appearance of duality. We stand between what the soul really wants and what we are supposed to do in order to have a ‘normal’ life. Even the most dedicated person to earthly matters will be confronted by the call of the soul at some point during their lives. The current establishment does not make easy to engage in spiritual practices, but encourages people to find vocations which in most cases are purely artificial.

Under the current structure, the majority of the population leads a life towards surviving. Individuals who follow their divine purpose are rare, although the number is increasing, as spiritual awareness expands across the globe. When a person lives under the false truth of social conditioning, making their life purpose a matter of survival, and even those who have a successful professional career, the feeling of an unfulfilled dream will emerge at one point or another. The older we get, the stronger the feeling will be.
When a long term relationship is established with another person, living with this feeling will challenge such relationship. In a way, we have formed a society with a person who stands beside us seeing how we are wasting our lives. More than a wife or husband, a boyfriend or a girlfriend, what we have found is an accomplice to lead a purposeless life.

All relationships are mirrors in which we see a reflection of ourselves, but also a projection. Thus, projecting our fears and insecurities onto our partners is inevitable. Although the resentment towards the other person might be very well hidden under many different layers, the feeling is there. It is at this point that we want to escape. It is very likely that the other person has the same exact feeling, but as we are unaware of it, we find many other reasons to point fingers in their direction. Even when our partner is supportive and encouraging, if we lead a life that deviates from our life purpose, we will find multiple excuses to blame others for our existential dissatisfaction.

Regardless of the nature of the relationship we are in and the hidden intention of which we might not even be aware, one should never be afraid of wanting to find love. Relationships can never be considered a mistake, but an opportunity for growth and learning. Being aware of our intentions reduces the chances to make mistakes, but one cannot learn without making some. Mistakes are there to show us which path not to take. We bounce back and continue the journey in the best way we can. We might be bruised and wounded along the way in our path to love, but once we find it, all is forgiven and all is forgotten. In the end, what everyone wants is love and only love.

In order to remember who we are, we must go through the experience and feel any feelings and emotions attached to it. As long as we do not harm anyone intentionally, making a mistake is part of the human experience. The only mistake we can make is to fear love. Everything else is called living.

The solution to avoid making mistakes is to listen to ourselves, follow our intuition and do more of what make us happy. And the only way we can remember the truth of who we really are is to follow our life purpose. Deep inside we all know it, although sometimes it takes us a while to get started.

Thank you Manel Blanco for this article


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When it comes to relationships, there is not a magic formula that guarantees success for anyone. Relationships develop organically and one must follow their intuition and experience in order to make them work, although it is possible to identify several reasons that explain why they fail. Relationships often begin to...