16 Most Cruel Dating Tricks Women Have Fallen Victim Of
Okay, there are plenty of really great guys out there who are 100% honest and themselves on dates — but let’s get real, there are definitely some jerks out there as well. And the worst part is, you can’t always tell right away — some of the tricks guys pull are pretty obvious, and end up fooling women because of our own issues. But, some of them are surprisingly sneaky and will catch you unaware. They learn of a little trick from their friend or in a men’s magazine, and all of a sudden, they’re using it on some woman they’re trying to pick up at a bar.
Now, we’re not saying you have to be suspicious of every move your potential partner makes — that just seems exhausting. However, you should probably be aware that there are a ton of guys out there who would pull just about any trick in the book out of their back pocket if it meant getting a little action.
So, from playing with your emotions to playing with your self-esteem, here are 16 most cruel tricks that many women have unfortunately fallen victim to. Keep them in mind so you don’t get caught unaware. After all, you know what they say — fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
16. “I’ve never met anyone like you”: flattery phrases that aren’t sincere
This is yet another trick that we’re pretty sure guys picked up from romantic comedies. Now, there’s a small chance that your guy may be sincere when he uses this line, but come on — it’s far more likely that he picked it up from a romantic movie scene and is trying to use it to get the same response that the actor got on screen. It’s always nice to pay someone a compliment, and sincere flattery can be really lovely, but more often than not, flattery like this just doesn’t ring sincere. However, when you’re a little blinded by a crush or are having a bad day or anything like that, sometimes it can come across as sincere and you’ll find yourself melting — which is exactly what he was trying to achieve.
15. “I’m totally cool with being just friends”: an attempt to get from friend zone to end zone
There are a lot of people who say that men and women can never be just friends — and to be honest, we totally don’t agree with that. However, it does help prove this particular trick. There are a lot of guys who want to date a woman, but will try to befriend her at first and assure her that all they’re interested in is being friends. Secretly, though, he absolutely wants to get with you — he’s just hoping that once he manages to make it into the friend zone, it’ll be easier to take the few steps required to get to the end zone. Meanwhile, the woman may be happily living her life, just thinking he’s a friend. It’s the premise of so many rom coms because it often happens naturally, when you suddenly realize you have feelings for someone you’re close with, but guys capitalize on that to try to manufacture that Hollywood happy ending.
14. “I’ve been going through a rough time lately”: playing with her sensitive side with a sob story
Okay, no woman is going to hook up with a guy just because she feels sorry for him. However, a lot of guys use this trick to excuse any questionable behavior. Perhaps they flaked on a date, or they want to skate over a particular area in their life. Perhaps they’re hoping that your mind will conjure up some rom com worthy tale where the tortured soul and the bright, sunny woman fall in love and she changes him. Whatever the case, the guy using this trick isn’t telling you his story because he wants to be totally honest with you — he’s telling you his sob story because he’s hoping it will have some sort of impact that might sway you in his favor. It’s just playing with your emotions.
13. “I’m a one-woman man”: trying to sell the serious relationship when he just wants to hook up
Okay, this one is tough because there definitely are guys out there who are done with casual dating and hooking up and are absolutely looking for their soul mate. If that’s what he’s looking for, and that’s what you’re looking for, fantastic — you’re on the same page already. However, most guys know that the average woman doesn’t just want to be another hook-up on his list, and they’re obviously not going to tell you that they’re just interested in a night or two of fun. So, they’ll lie and say that they’re the kind of guy who loves being in a committed relationship, who loves being devoted to one woman, even if it couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s yet another lie that he’s using to try to get you.
12. “I’ve never felt this way before”: lying about the intensity of his feelings
This is another trick out of the ‘I’ve never met anyone like you before’ book. Now, from time to time, a guy may actually mean it when he says this. However, more often than not, he’s not being sincere about it. He’s saying it to make you think that the two of you have a really strong connection, and to provoke the same kind of ‘I’ve never felt this way either!’ feelings in you — which may lead you to, well, wanting to feel him. Men know that there are many women who want the picture perfect movie romance, who want to be totally swept off their feet — so they use these kind of lines and grand gestures in an attempt to give them that experience in exchange for a little loving.
11. “I’m a doctor/non-profit worker/etc.”: pretending to have a more ‘heroic’ career than he actually does
Okay, this is another tricky one, because there are definitely guys out there who have inspiring and heartwarming careers, and one of them may very well be your soulmate. However, there are a ton of guys out there who just work regular jobs — in sales, in an office, whatever. If they’re trying to impress a girl they just want to hook up with, they’re not going to lead with their regular old job — they’re going to lie and pretend that they have some kind of heroic occupation that will immediately elicit a positive response. I mean, if a guy tells you he’s a pediatric surgeon who’s just in it because he loves helping children? That’s a panty melter, and the problem is, it’s tough to judge whether or not he’s being truthful.
10. “Have another glass, you deserve it”: using your laid-back state to increase his chances
Guys aren’ stupid. They know that once a woman has had a few glasses of wine, her inhibitions are probably going to be lowered, and she may end up making decisions that sober her wouldn’t. Now, we’re not talking about guys here who spike your drink or do something that awful — that’s a whole different thing, and that’s not a ‘trick,’ that’s straight up assault. We’re talking about the guys who tell you that you can order whatever cocktail or wine you want, their treat, and keep encouraging another round. The problem is, chances are he’s bigger than you with a higher tolerance, which means you’ll end up getting tipsy far more quickly — which is exactly what he’s counting on. So, while you may go for the fourth glass of wine when you’re out on girls’ night, maybe slow it down when you’re with a new guy.
9. “I don’t normally like girls with so much junk in the trunk”: good ol’ fashioned negging
In an ideal world, negging — paying someone a ‘compliment’ that references a shortcoming — would always be met by a slap or a woman just walking away. However, we don’t live in an ideal world. While a woman with high self-esteem and a ton of confidence may be able to roll her eyes and just ditch any guy who does this to her, a woman who struggles with low self-esteem may be way more affected. Particularly if the negging comes once there’s been a little flirtation and she likes the guy and she thinks he likes her, she may be willing to do something to regain his affection that she normally wouldn’t do. There’s a reason so many players use this trick — it’s awful, but it can also be effective, which is terrible.
8. “I’m totally single”: lying about his girlfriend for the night
Here’s the thing — if a guy doesn’t come out with his girlfriend, and none of his friends lets on that he has a girlfriend, there’s pretty much no way that you’ll be able to see through this lie. After all, if you’re out with your girls and you see a cute guy in a bar and he tells you he’s single… you’ll assume that he’s legit, right? That’s the problem. Guys know that most girls won’t bother interrogating them to verify that they are, indeed, single, so if you’re not wearing a wedding ring and you’re telling her that you’re totally solo, she’s going to believe you. Guys capitalize on that trust when they’re out and looking to score a beautiful woman when their girlfriend is out of town, and the woman is the one who ends up being fooled.
7. “I’m a feminist”: (yeah, okay)
Again, this one comes with a caveat — there are absolutely guys out there who believe wholeheartedly in equality and support strong women and all that. However, it’s usually not something that comes up in the first two minutes of conversation. So, if a guy is out at the bar or a spot where there’s tons of women talking about what a feminist he is and how much he supports women, chances are, he’s just trying to use the whole belief in equality thing as a pick-up line, which is just gross. The problem is, there are so many guys out there who are total jerks that demean women and don’t see them as equals, that when you come across a guy spouting to be a feminist, many women fall for it.
6. “You’re too good for me”: a flattery way to shrug off a relationship
This is basically the most sneaky way for a guy to get a hook-up without the risk of a serious relationship, and somehow it works way too often. Let’s just set this up — you’re totally interested in a guy, you feel sparks and butterflies and all that, and then he tells you that you’re just too good for him. Chances are, you won’t just walk away in agreement — you’ll assume that he’s being modest or self deprecating, and he’ll suddenly seem even more attractive to you because he’s not a cocky jerk. Then, once you hook-up, he’ll manage to avoid any kind of serious relationship by repeating the phrase — but all of a sudden, it won’t seem self deprecating, it’ll just make it clear that you’ve been fooled, and that’s never a good feeling.
5. “I’ve been told I’m good at that”: bragging about his prowess between the sheets
Ugh, this trick is the worst because it isn’t even that subtle. Now, if you’ve got a flirtation going on, you may exchange a few innuendos or jokes about X-rated material. A little hint here, a little suggestion there, etc. And yes, a guy who brags non-stop about how great he is in the sack is obviously trying to overcompensate for something, and that’s a total turn off. However, there are a lot of subtle ways a guy can hint that he’s well-endowed or skilled between the sheets, and if he does it right, a woman may find herself wanting to jump in the sack and test out those things he’s been hinting at — and that curiosity and response to his subtle hints was exactly what he was likely counting on.
4. “Girl, are you hitting on me?”: turning the tables
This is a major way to mess with a woman’s mind, and it’s just not cool. Now, for a really long time, it was kind of accepted practice that the guy would make the first move. Women were to be pursued — men were to be the pursuers. Things have gotten a lot more equal, and women are often comfortable asking a guy out themselves or being the one who steps up at first. However, if you’re the type of woman who thinks a guy should be the one to make the first move, this trick can be super sneaky. A guy, even if he’s interested in you, will be aloof and try to make it seem like he’s not, simply in order to get you to seek his approval and impress him. It’s basically making you jump through hoops, and it’s awful.
3. “Who, her?”: provoking some major jealousy
Again, the easiest way to manipulate someone is by playing with their emotions, and this tactic definitely does that. Now, there are some women who may not be that affected if their crush mentions he totally digs the hot bartender at the restaurant you’re at. However, many guys use this tactic to engage a woman’s competitive side a little bit, and to jar her into realizing that she doesn’t want another woman to have her guy — she wants him for herself. So, while jealousy can be hugely toxic in an actual relationship, many guys use it as the firestarter to get things going if a woman is kind of on the fence about dating them, or perhaps just hasn’t really taken the time to consider them an option at all.
2. “We can just watch Netflix”: famous last words
Look, the phrase ‘Netflix and chill’ was invented for a reason — this is one of the oldest tricks in the book. In an earlier era, guys may have taken a girl to the movies and tried to put the moves on them there; in the modern day, he’ll invite a girl back to his apartment under the ruse of just checking out a movie on Netflix. The problem is, many women don’t want to be presumptuous — they’ll tell themselves that he might actually just be talking about watching a movie, and you don’t want to shut down his pure intentions. Let’s get real though — he’s never just talking about watching a movie. That may be how it ends up if you shoot him down, but if the possibility of getting even more cozy arises, you know he’ll ditch that movie in a heartbeat because his plan worked.
1. Three words: “I love you”: making you think things are more serious than he thinks they are
This is a particularly horrible trick because these three little words have a lot of meaning, and can really impact your relationship. There are some couples who take a year or even more to exchange these words because of what they mean and what they say about your relationship. Guys know this — so sometimes, he may bust out these words as a trick to get you to think the relationship is more serious than it is, and thus get you to do some X-rated things that you may have been withholding until you felt you were in a more serious place. You just have to read the context — usually, when a guy says these words and means it, it feels right, even if it takes you by surprise. If you’re shocked at him saying “I love you” it may very well mean he’s just using those words to get something he wants.
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