Studies show that selfless behavior is a sexually attractive trait when choosing a partner. Both men and women – but more so women – show a strong preference in a partner who typically displays selflessness towards others.

Unfortunately, unless something so obvious happens like someone refusing to share his dinner or her popcorn at the movies, or if you’re really good at noticing odd things about others, selfishness in another person is a difficult trait to identify early on in the relationship – before you fall in love with the person.

Once you for instance are married their selfish side will come out and it will be me, me, me. What I want and am not getting. What I want to do and they mostly think of themselves. They never sacrifice anything but expect you to pander to them.

So how can you tell earlier on that you may be falling for a selfish man or woman?

1. Once you are married he/she doesn’t settle down to married life and do what is expected of a husband/wife, but (if the female) she expects to have a lavish lifestyle and likes living the same lifestyle she had before marriage.

2. What he/she wants and expects out of life is not what would make a healthy, happy marriage and in the case of a female, she is not great wife or mother material. A child for instance is a duty she feels she has to perform but is not all that excited about being tied down.

3. He/she does not work but wants to tell you what you may or may not purchase with the money you earned. Yes being in agreement on spending is okay, but total control as though you are working solely for his/her benefit is a no no.

4. He/she wants to live a high lifestyle, feels nothing about spending the other partners money but is quick to question when you buy something.

5. He/she mostly talks about him/herself – what he/she likes, needs and wants in a partner, in a relationship, in life etc. What you like, need and want doesn’t seem to matter.

6. He/she only relates to how things affect him/her personally and has no ability to see or relate to how life (and the world) is interconnected.

7. He/she doesn’t consider the impact of his/her actions on others (you included). When you point out how his/her words/actions are “hurting” you, he/she just can’t make the link between his/her words/actions and how you feel.

8. He/she wants you to listen, give emotional support and even worry about how he/she is feeling but never takes time to listen to how you feel — or even thinks how you feel is not important. When you point this out you’re told you’re being “selfish” for wanting him/her to pay attention.

9. He/she gives only when he/she expects to get something back in return. More often than not, expecting more than he/she is willing to give.

10. He/she has an entitlement mentality often followed by selfish demands and outbursts or emotional blackmail (withdraws attention and affection) when he/she doesn’t get what he/she feels he/she is entitled to (i.e. your attention and affection).

11. He/she is always quick to say “NO” when asked to “give” in any way; always has a reason as to why he/she doesn’t feel like giving, doesn’t want to give or should not give- and all these reasons have to do with someone else’s “fault”.

12. He/she always makes promises he/she doesn’t fulfill. Either consciously or sub-consciously he/she always seems unable to “remember” a commitment he/she made and may even blame you for his/her failure to fulfill a responsibility.

13. He/she thinks its okay to manipulate and exploit and even take advantage of others to achieve one’s own ends.

14. He/she lacks empathy and makes no apologies about it.

 

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Studies show that selfless behavior is a sexually attractive trait when choosing a partner. Both men and women – but more so women – show a strong preference in a partner who typically displays selflessness towards others. Unfortunately, unless something so obvious happens like someone refusing to share his dinner...