Warning signs of an emotionally abusive relationship
Abuse comes in many shapes and forms and isn’t always physical. But just because you can’t see the scars does not mean they don’t exist. Use of tactics like intimidation, guilt, manipulation and fear allow the abuser to control their victim, which causes just as much, if not more, pain and hurt. Emotional abuse doesn’t stop there, in the long term it can cause depression, anxiety and really damage your emotional health and self-worth.
Victims of emotional abuse tend to blame themselves and find it hard to recognize that they are in an emotionally abusive relationship. This means that getting out is even more difficult, causing a cycle of abuse that never stops.
If you recognize any of these signs in your relationship, it could be a red flag that you should not ignore!
- Your partner enjoys making fun of you and causing you embarrassment in public.
- Your partner makes you feel worthless, like everything you do is wrong. They criticize everything you say or do.
- Your partner makes you the butt of his/her jokes, and they are often cruel and demeaning.
- Your words and every move is in the control of your partner, and you constantly have to ask before you do anything you want to do.
- Your flaws and failures are always mentioned as your partner is constantly reminding you about what they think is wrong with you or why you won’t succeed.
- Your feelings don’t seem to matter and according to your partner, your opinion does not matter much either.
- Your partner gives you ugly or threatening looks that make you feel afraid or worried to be with them alone.
- Your partner does not give you any attention or affection or gives you the silent treatment and withholds affection when you have “done something wrong”.
- Your goals and achievements take a back seat and you feel belittled by your partner. They tend to make you feel stupid and unimportant.
- Your partner tells others your secrets or talks about your private life with other people while knowing that you would like to keep it to yourself.
- Your partner always knows what’s best for you and thinks you are incapable.
- Your partner says his or her problems and bad moods are your fault.
- Your partner cannot handle constructive criticism at all and gets aggressive or very angry when his or her weaknesses or flaws or exposed.
- Your partner does not like when you go out alone, even if it’s just to visit your friends or family.
- You feel like you aren’t good enough for your partner and they often tell you they could do better than you or that you should be glad you have them.
- Your partner’s way is always the right way and there is no room to “agree to disagree”.
- Your partner is in full control of your money and finances and they monitor your spending habits.
- Your partner checks up on you constantly when they are not with you.Your partner fabricates stories and accuses you of doing things you haven’t done, then asks you to prove your love.
These are among the many signs that exist, it is difficult to point them all out. But it is to be noted that whenever you feel that your partner is exhibiting any of these signs, you need to seek help. Emotionally abusive people generally have a need to prove their dominance over you, by making you feel inferior, making you bend over backwards proving your feelings to them and what not. Even when they are in the wrong they will find a way to turn it around on you. They will always blame you for anything that goes wrong.
We choose to ignore such signs since we are so attached to that person, and the relationship means so much to us that we can’t risk losing it. But it is important to look out for yourself and do the right thing no matter how difficult it is for you.
People outside the relationship can be a great asset in determining any emotionally abusive tendencies. They should point them out and urge the respective people to seek proper help before the abuse no longer remains just emotional.