Why are we attracting the wrong partners? Do you attract the wrong partner who is not good for you, here is why?
Maybe you start off wild with excitement about someone, but then the glitter wears off, or you become downright repulsed by the person.
Maybe you’ve been in a committed relationship with someone, perhaps you even got married, only to later realize that you had “irreconcilable differences.”
This Is How Your Subconscious Chooses A Partner
People often enter into relationships for unconscious reasons.
All of us have certain underlying fears and limiting beliefs that can drive us in the selection of a partner. These fears then attract a person with a similar issue.
For instance, say you have an underlying fear of intimacy. Your subconscious attracts a person who also shares this fear. Without either of you realizing it, you’ve come together to try to understand that fear of getting close and to resolve it.
Or maybe your father left when you were young. You meet someone who also lost someone important, perhaps even around the same age. You end up bonding over your shared loss, not realizing that your sense of connection is driven by an underlying fear of abandonment.
These unconscious bonds are powerful. When you bond with someone at that level, you think you’ve found your perfect match. You feel such a strong and compelling need to be with this person, that you overlook all sorts of surface level incompatibilities.
He’s a homebody and you love to party? So what, you tell yourself, the chemistry is amazing!
She’s a committed vegan and you regularly host hog roasts? You tell yourself love can handle it all.
That is, until you misplace those rose-colored glasses; and all those qualities you found quirky now drive you crazy–and they create too big a wedge between the two of you.
That’s why it’s critical to know what your subconscious beliefs are and how they can be driving your relationships. Subconscious beliefs, however, aren’t easy to spot because, you guessed it, they’re subconscious!
Here is how to use your conscious mind to attract the right partner
It starts with identifying the kind of partner and relationship you want. When you have a clear idea of what will be fulfilling for you, you’re much less likely to end up in a situation where there are a bunch of incompatibilities you’re overlooking.
It’s like going to the grocery store without a shopping list when you’re hungry, you’re going to walk out with a lot of stuff (possibly unhealthy) that you didn’t need and that you might regret.
And when you’ve unearthed the underlying fears that keep you repeating negative patterns in relationships, you become an expert at detecting incompatibilities before you get too involved with someone.
But it takes a new perspective to undo the habitual ways of being you’ve been accustomed to.
Below are ways to reprogram your subconscious mind and unblock boundaries.