Things to expect when you are in love with someone who does not love you
“You will heal, but it will take time for you to fall for someone again.”
Love is a slippery slope. It can either be the most beautiful thing in the world, or the most devastating feeling in the history of human existence. It has the potential to be an enchanting and magical experience and also to be a treacherous and traumatizing affair. We all have our own unique love stories; each of them varying by degrees and kinds. Some of them are great and terrific, while others are toxic and dangerous. Love can be such a polarizing feeling; but that’s why it’s what makes life so interesting.
Love has the power to lift people up to the heavens, and knock people down into the depths of suffering. For the most part, all of us crave for the kind of love that makes life so much better. We seek the love that makes food taste better, that makes the sky seem bluer, and makes the flowers bloom faster. We think that we all deserve the kind of love that we find in movies or in songs. However, the sad reality is that love isn’t always going to be beautiful.
Frankly speaking, love has the power to break down even the strongest of people. And there are few things in this world that are more devastating than falling in love with someone who has no love for you. Shakespeare touched upon this topic so eloquently in his writings about unrequited love. While there is nothing that can shield you from the pain of going through a one-sided love affair, there are ways in which you can prepare for it. It’s best that you know what you’re getting into so that you have fair expectations for the pains and hurt that lie ahead. Here are 6 things that you should expect when you’re in love with someone who doesn’t love you in return:
1. You’ll be caught in a sporadic state of denial.
You will get hints at the start that she’s not just that into you, but then denial starts to take over. You think to yourself that you’ll eventually win her over with your persistence and so you keep at it. You’re your usual loving, tender, and kind self whenever you’re with her, and she manages to feel at ease when you’re together. You start thinking to yourself that you’re making progress, but deep down you know, that there really isn’t anything there.
2. It will be painful once the realizations set in.
While you still keep the hopes of a future relationship alive, you’re starting to slowly realize that that’s just not going to be the case. But you think to yourself that you’re in too deep to back out now and so you keep at it. The pain of the harsh realities are killing you every day but you keep telling yourself that she’s worth it and that you just need to get through these difficult times.
3. She feels the love you give her, and she’ll get closer to you without loving you in return.
She feels so comfortable whenever she’s with you because you’ve managed to penetrate her emotional wall. Sadly, that doesn’t mean she’s in love with you though. She’s more open and receptive of you but she only sees you as a friend. You don’t want to be honest with her about your true intentions because you’re scared you might lose what you already have.
5. You’ll end up interacting with the guy eventually.
Because of how close you’ve become with her, you’re going to meet the guy eventually. You’re going to face the man who has singlehandedly defeated you in the game for her affections. He has won her hear; something you never managed to do. You feel absolutely pathetic and you tell yourself that this is a low-point in your life. You make a decision to do better for yourself and never subject yourself to this kind of emotional traumatization ever again.
6. You will heal, but it will take time for you to fall for someone again.
You will heal eventually. Your wounds will close and you will fall out of love with her; or at least you will learn to live with the pain of loving someone you can’t have. In fact, you may find another person to fall in love with, but it won’t be so easy this time. You’ll be a little more guarded. You don’t want to get hurt like you did before. Hopefully this time around, she’ll love you as much as you love her.
Image: Dirty Love by Tomasz_Mro