Things to remember when you love an extroverted introvert
by Becca Martin
1. If you’re in their life understand you matter to them.
First and foremost, if you’re in an extroverted introverts life it’s because you matter to them, a lot. They tend to have a hard time maintaining relationships because they’re constantly meeting so many new people, while trying to keep up with old friends and care for themselves. It becomes exhausting. But if you’re in their life it’s because they truly want you there. They will make the extra effort and go the extra mile just to make you happy. If you weren’t important they wouldn’t waste their energy on you, so trust them that you really do matter and they really do care about having you in their life.
2. But they still need their space.
Don’t think they don’t love you just because they told you they didn’t want to hangout tonight because they wanted to be alone, that’s just how they work. They love company, but they also highly value their alone time to recharge to be the happiest and healthiest versions of themselves. While they want to spend time with you, they probably really just need a night to themselves.
3. Don’t blow up their phone.
If they say they want to be alone for a little period of time, just let them be alone. I understand it might be hard for you to grasp why they wouldn’t want to text you because after all they’re still alone. But sometimes they need to completely shut down to reboot. They aren’t ignoring your texts to be mean or make you feel unloved, but simply because they need a little break from the world.
4. Understand while they might want to be alone, they hate being lonely.
You’re in their life for a reason, it’s because they care about you very deeply. They want you there and it’s important to know that while they like being alone from time to time, they hate being lonely. When the time alone becomes too much you’ll be the first person they call and it’s not just because they’re lonely, but it’s because they want you there. They want to interact with you, they want to pick your brain and they want you to ease their mind because you make them feel better.
5. Don’t be angry if they aren’t super outgoing when you first introduce them to your friends.
The most important thing to understand with extroverted introverts is that they need to feel comfortable in order to fully open up and be themselves. They don’t just dive into conversation with strangers because they hate small talk and they’re constantly worried about making a good impression and acting a certain way to impress your friends. It’s a lot of pressure all around.
6. They might question you a lot, but it’s just because they live in their head.
Extroverted introverts live inside their heads, it’s both a blessing and a curse. Their minds are constantly wandering so if they question you about something just answer them honestly because it will help ease their mind. They don’t do it out of accusation, just reassurance for themselves.
7. Sometimes they just need to be told what to do.
Having too much time to make a decision can be an extroverted introverts worst nightmare. They’re too undecided on what they actually want to do because while part of them wants to go somewhere, the other part desperately wants to stay home. It’s better to just make up your mind and tell them that’s what the plan is.
8. While making decisions isn’t necessarily their strong point, they are rather flexible.
With the little push from you to decide what to do extroverted introverts would generally be happy with anything. They’d be happy to go out with your friends or happy to stay in and spend the night with only you. They almost prefer you make the plans so they can just go with the flow without outweighing the pros and cons of each option.
9. They will be your best listener and biggest supporter.
Extroverted introverts love communicating, but more than talking they love listening to others. They want to hear what you have to say, they want to know about your day and they want to try to cheer you up when you’re feeling down. They might not always know what to say exactly, but they’ll always do their best to try and cheer you up, and if that doesn’t work, they’ll be all ears to listen.
10. They always want what’s best for you.
Extroverted introverts are very in tune with their emotions and more than that they truly care about the people they choose to surround themselves. They always want the best for you and will fight for you to achieve everything they want. When they give you a compliment or tell you they understand what you’re going through it’s because they genuinely get it, they are empathetic and try their hardest to put themselves in your shoes. They always want to see the people in their life succeed and will try to help in any way they can, but more than anything they do it because they love you.