Are You In A Strong Relationship?

Do you think that your relationship has what it takes to go all the way?

Check below and see if you can identify with some of the characteristics below. If most of them are in your relationship, then you are on the right path to a lifetime of love.

 

1. Relationships thrive when couples can express themselves freely and honestly. That means no topic is off-limits, and you both feel heard. Consistent communication is vital to building a lasting life together.

2. Just because you’re in love doesn’t mean you have to spend every moment together. Taking time to pursue your own interests and friendships keeps your relationship fresh and gives you both the opportunity to grow as individuals—even while you’re growing as a couple.

3. Disagreements are normal, so if you aren’t fighting, chances are you’re holding back. But when people in healthy relationships fight, they fight productively and fairly. That means avoiding name-calling or put-downs. It also means striving to understand your partner instead of trying to score points. And when you’re wrong? You apologize.

4. Chances are your relationship won’t suddenly get better if you win the lottery, have a baby, or move into your dream house. So don’t base your partnership on the hope that it will change. You recognize that neither of you is perfect, and you accept and value each other for who you are right now—not who you might become.

5. You don’t call all the shots. Neither does your partner. From what movie to see to how many children to have, you make decisions together and listen to each other’s concerns and desires. Sure, this may mean you see Transformers on Saturday night. But on Sunday night, it’s your turn.

6. Healthy relationships are full of laughter and fun. This doesn’t mean you’re giddy every hour of the day—or that she doesn’t drive you up the wall sometimes—but it does mean that your life together is mostly happy in sometimes simple ways. (Making dinner, laughing at the same things, finishing each others’ sentences…)

7. Sometimes your partner needs to work longer hours while you play chauffeur and chief cook. Or you must devote time to an elderly parent while your spouse tackles the chores. That’s life. What matters is that, in the long run, your trade-offs seem fair.

8. Nothing is more important than treating the person you love with care, consideration, empathy, and appreciation. If you find yourself showing more respect to people you hardly know than you show your partner, take a step back and revisit your priorities.

9. Healthy relationships are built on trust and a commitment to communication without reservations or secrets. Want to know how much you trust each other now? Take this quiz from the University of California, Berkeley

10. Your partner will annoy you. You will annoy him or her, too. You will say things you don’t mean. You will behave inconsiderately. The important thing is how you deal with all this. So he forgot to pick up milk for the second time? Tell him you’re disappointed, of course—then let it go.

11. Sex is an important part of healthy relationships, but it’s only one part, and it’s different than intimacy, which is less about physical satisfaction than about bonding, friendship, and familiarity. If you’re in a healthy relationship, you’ll feel connected—in and out of bed.

12. Your relationship should be a safety net—a stable place to come home to at the end of the day. That doesn’t mean you don’t fight—it just means that when things are hard, you’d rather see your partner than commiserate with coworkers at Happy Hour.

14. You Say The Magic Words I love you”, “Thank you,” and “I’m sorry.”

15. You can name your partner’s best friend and identify a positive quality that the person has.

16. You and your partner are playful with each other.

17. You think your partner has good ideas.

18. You’d like to become more like your partner, at least in some ways.

19. Even when you disagree, you can acknowledge your partner makes sensible points.

20.You think about each other when you’re not physically together.

21.  You see your partner as trustworthy.

22. In relationship-relevant areas such as warmth and attractiveness, you view your partner a little bit more positively than they view themselves or than most other people view them.

23. You enjoy the ways your partner has changed and grown since you met.

24. Your partner is enthusiastic when something goes right for you.

25. When you reunite at the end of the day, you say something positive before you say something negative.

26. You reminisce about positive experiences you’ve had together in the past.

27. You can name one of your partner’s favorite books.

28. You know your partner’s aspirations in life.

29. You can recall something you did together that was new and challenging for both of you.

30. You kiss every day.

31. You’re comfortable telling your partner about things that make you feel vulnerable such as worries about getting laid off.

32. You have your own “love language” (pet names or special signs you give each other).

33. You know your partner’s most embarrassing moment from childhood.

34. You know  your partner’s proudest moment from childhood.

35. You never, or very rarely, express contempt for your partner by rolling your eyes, swearing at them, or calling them crazy.

36. You can list some positive personality qualities your partner inherited from their parents.

37. If you have children together, you can list some positive personality qualities your partner has passed on to your children.

38. You enjoy supporting your partner’s exploration of personal goals and dreams, even when this involves you staying home.

39. You have a sense of security: You’re confident your partner wouldn’t be unfaithful, or do something to jeopardize your combined financial security.

40. When you argue, you still have a sense that your partner cares about your feelings and opinions.

41. Your partner lets you into their inner emotional world—they make their thoughts and feelings accessible to you.

42. You frequently express appreciation for each other.

43. You frequently express admiration for each other.

44. You feel a sense of being teammates with your partner.

45. You know your partner’s favorite song.

46. You have a sense that your individual strengths complement each other.

47. When you say goodbye in the morning, it’s mindful and affectionate.

48. If you’ve told your partner about trauma you’ve experienced, they’ve reacted kindly.

49. You don’t flat-out refuse to talk about topics that are important to your partner.

50. You respect your partner’s other relationships with family or friends, and view them as important.

51. You have fun together.

52. You see your partner’s flaws and weaknesses in specific rather than general ways. (For example, you get annoyed about them forgetting to pick up the towels, but you don’t generally see them as inconsiderate.)

53. You’re receptive to being influenced by your partner; you’ll try their suggestions.

54. You’re physically affectionate with each other.

55. You enjoy spending time together.

56. You feel a zing when you think about how you first met.

You can name your partner’s favorite relative.

58. You can name your partner’s most beloved childhood pet.

59. You can articulate what your partner sees as the recipe for happiness.

60. When you feel stressed or upset, you turn toward your partner for comfort, rather than turning away from your partner and trying to deal with it yourself.

61. You have a sense that it’s easy to get your partner’s attention if you’ve got something important to say.

62. You like exploring your partner’s body.

63. You can name your partner’s favorite food.

64. If you could only take one person to a deserted island, you’d take your partner.

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