5 Relationship Myths We Have Been Programmed to Believe
Part of being human is forming relationships and the most significant relationships we form are often romantic ones.
Romantic relationships hold a lot of weight and value in society. In fact, being in a relationship is considered a “must do” in order to fit in.
On a spiritual level relationships help us to evolve and can teach us about who we are. For many of us, relationships truly help us to grow and awaken and teach us valuable lessons in self worth.
Because there is such emphasis put on relationships however, the art of companionship has been tainted with some myths.
Over the years we have been made to believe things about relationships that are just not true and are driven by ego and fears.
Here are the 5 myths we have all been fed about relationships-
1. That You Have to Be In a Relationship
Nothing is wrong with being single, however there is such a stigma around those who live the single life, especially for women.
Some people thrive in relationships and other people don’t. Some people attract many potential partners and other people don’t. And this is ok!
There is nothing wrong with being single and choosing to live independently, however society tells us that people who do this are cold-hearted or lack the ability to love. This is just not true. Even people in relationships can be cold-hearted or lack the ability to love, it is not something that is just reserved for singles.
Just like some people are wired to be in a relationship, others are wired to be single.
Everyone is different and everyone has a different journey in this life so if you are single, whether you want to be or not, own it and see it for the amazing experience that it is.
2. That Relationships Are About Love
There, I said it- relationships are not about love.
We are all love. It is our job to love, it our job to give and receive love no matter who we are dealing with. Even though this may sound idealistic, at our core, everything and everyone is love.
All the other emotions that go into making relationships feel loving is the trust, communication, compassion and kindness that is layered on top of the foundation of love. It is these elements that help love to be felt on its fullest, deepest level.
The love between us is already there, it is all the other stuff that helps the love to be used and manifested.
We can receive love from anyone, including from ourselves because that is what we are made of. We don’t need to be in a relationship in order to experience it.
Being in a relationship is not so much about love, it is about finding someone that is a companion to your life and to your soul. From this love is felt, but it is the other stuff that truly makes the relationship last.
3. That You Have to Find “The One”
Finding “the one” is definitely one of the biggest myths we have been fed. There is no “the one”.
Sure, there are some people that we meet that provoke a strong reaction within us and there are people who feel good to us, but this is more to do with our energy and what we are attracting into our life.
Soulmates and twin flames also exist, but these “relationships” occur on a spiritual and energetic level and not in the traditional sense of the idea of a relationship.
We don’t need to be romantically involved with our Twin Flame in order to experience the relationship and we may have more than one soulmate.
Often when we go in search of “the one” we are really looking to fill a void within our own soul. We may also be acting out of fear by believing that we can’t stay with someone who doesn’t meet all our criteria.
This is not to say that there isn’t someone out there that is perfect for you, but this perfect someone will always change and evolve as you change and evolve.
Bottom line is this, there are many people out there that you can make a great, loving relationship with. This doesn’t mean that you settle, but it does mean that you may need to reconsider your thoughts surrounding “the one” and what you are really searching for.
4. That Your Relationship Needs to Be Perfect All the Time
We are all human, no one is perfect and neither are the relationships that we create.
Relationships are truly about growth and support. We need support to grow and we need to support our partner so they can grow, and sometimes this can be a lot of work.
Relationships take conscious effort to build and protect, there is no such thing as a relationship that is always happy and perfect, despite what you may see on your social media feed.
Sure, there are happy times in relationships but there are also hard times too. Know that this is normal and all part of the process.
5. That Your Relationship Needs to Look Like Everyone Else’s
Just like people are different so too are the relationships that they cultivate.
Some partners like to live separately, some like to live together, some partners like to have open relationships, some partners like to have monogamous relationships, some partners have a huge age difference between them and others are the same age, and the list goes on and on.
Whatever the combination, nothing matters except how you feel about it and what it is that you desire for yourself and for your life.
Relationships come in all shapes, colours and sizes and neither is “lesser than”. At the end of the day, no one really knows what is going on except the people in the relationship, so don’t judge and don’t fall privy to judgements from others.
Relationships are some of the most important things that we enter into in this life, so embrace the journey and know that they are simply another tool to the path of self discovery.
Featured Image: Couples Digital Art – Selfish Relationships by Paulo Zerbato