Here Are 15 Of The Worst Ways To Show That You Love Him
15. Stalking His Social Media
Yeah, stalking social media has its merits at the beginning of a relationship when you’re trying to figure out what you’re dealing with, but at a certain point, you have to just trust the guy. There might be a part of you that wants to keep track of his every move and maybe you even think that you deserve to do that because you’re together, but not even his mom is doing that. (And you really don’t want to start acting like his mom, but you probably already knew that.) If you’re looking for trouble, you will always find something that looks like trouble even if nothing is even wrong. There will always be random girls commenting and putting hearts on his photos and you could assume that they’re a problem even if they aren’t at all. You also don’t need to find out about stuff ahead of time that he’s going to tell you about anyway. He’ll show you photos from the birthday party he went to so you don’t have to hunt down every guy that was there and evaluate the state of their relationships to make sure that yours is still on track.
14. Micromanaging His Life
Some people like to show that they care for someone by helping them out and doing favors for them. But you can go too far and micromanage your boyfriend’s life which really doesn’t make it seem like you love him. He is going to think that you’re super insecure because it seems like you want to smother him and control every aspect of his life. If you feel comfortable controlling his life in that way, then that’s not supportive at all. You thrivehen you can be your true self in a relationship and that means trusting that the other person isn’t going anywhere. It also means being okay when he’s not doing things the way that you would want him to do them. You can’t force him to take one job over another and then expect that he’s going to be happy just because you think it’s going to be better for you guys as a couple. You need to chill out for sure.
13. Giving Him All Of Your Tim
It can be tempting to let someone know that you’re committed by spending as much time with them as you possibly can. But giving someone free access to all of your time also gives them access to all of your energy. It’s not a good idea to see your boyfriend 24/7 and forget everyone and everything in your life. No matter how serious your relationship is, it’s always a good idea to keep up with your individual lives for many reasons. Being part of a healthy and happy couple means that both of you are free to live your own lives and that you respect each other’s worlds as well. To really love someone, you have to respect yourself to know that you can’t give them all your time so that means having some time to yourself as well. You also need time with your own friends outside of the relationship and you have a career to look after and all your other hobbies and interests.
12. Letting Him Make All The Decisions
He should be making some of the decisions, as should you, but if one partner is the decision maker all the time, that’s a really bad imbalance. It doesn’t matter if he’s more organized than you, you should be part of this stuff too. If you let him make all of the decisions, eventually he’s going to get tired of it because it will kind of be like he’s just in a relationship with himself. If he’s with you, he wants to know what you want to eat for dinner some of the time and he wants to know when you want to sleep with him and where you want the relationship to go. Sometimes when you hand over the reigns to the other person completely, you’re terrified, but fear is basically the opposite of love. You can’t show him that you love him by acting in a certain way because you’re afraid of losing him. That’s not a good idea.
11. Buying Him New Clothes Without Asking
Your boyfriend might need some upgrades in the clothes department because let’s be real here, many guys definitely do. But unless he actually asks you to bring home a whole new wardrobe for him, you’re going to have to approach that one with some tact. How would you feel if he came home and replaced all of your stuff? If it was awesome you might be slightly thrilled of course, but if it was vastly different than your current wardrobe you would be super insulted that he didn’t like your clothes before. You would be really annoyed so just think about how he’s going to react. Yeah, exactly. If you do want to update his wardrobe, maybe you could order him a few options for him to try on and pick what he wants. That way he’ll feel like he’s a part of the process even if he doesn’t want to actually step foot in a store. Remind him that you like him no matter what he’s wearing so he doesn’t feel overwhelmed by your fashionista ideas.
10. Trying To Be Besties With His Buddies
You might naturally become good friends with his friends, and this definitely happens to a lot of couples. But you don’t need to prove to your boyfriend how much you love him by forcing anything with those people. For one thing, he might like to have his boy time without you (no offense) and you don’t want to overstep that boundary. It’s perfectly normal for him to keep his friends a little separate and you might find that you like to do the same. For another thing, you might get along fine with his boys but not have any deep connections with them, and you don’t need to pretend like you love them to make him happy. If you pay too much attention to his friends he might even be confused about why you feel the need to do so. Just stay cool and natural about the whole thing. It’s going to work itself out.
9. Matching His Diet
If you’re truly inspired by your boyfriend’s health habits and want to try a new diet, then that’s awesome. That would be a super positive change. But you don’t need to stop eating your favorite foods and switch to his diet just to prove that you’re worthy of dating him. If you love pizza but he’s a gluten-free vegan, you really don’t have to give up pizza, and let’s be honest, you would be totally miserable if you did. Wouldn’t you feel a little weird if he suddenly stopped eating his own way and adopted yours? That doesn’t feel loving, it feels a little creepy. Both of you will have to meet in the middle or get creative about ways to feed you both things that you like to eat. Don’t get stuck eating at the raw food place every night if all you really want is some steak. There are ways to make this work for you both and you’ve just got to figure out how.
8. Ignoring Your Guy Friends
You definitely don’t have to stop talking to every male member of society that you know just because you’re in a relationship. That’s not a great message to send. Sure, you might “belong” to your boyfriend in a certain sense, but you don’t need to ignore people that you’re friends with. If you are a reasonable and mature adult, you are definitely capable of having platonic friendships with men that don’t cross a line into anything that should worry your boyfriend. If he wants you to stop being friends with people, then he probably doesn’t trust you (or know you well enough to know that you’re trustworthy). There are times where it is not a good idea to be friends with a guy, but you know the difference and if you act accordingly it shouldn’t be an issue. People of the opposite gender can make great friends and enrich your life in a lot of interesting ways, so you shouldn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak.
7. Hating What He Hates
You might learn some new things from your boyfriend and see completely different sides to the world. This can open your eyes and cause you to change your mind. But you don’t have to hate everyone and everything that your boyfriend hates and change your entire POV. Sometimes, this can happen on a subtle level and you won’t even mean for it to happen, but over time you might start to pick up on his beliefs and thoughts. Then you realize that although you love the beach, you’ve been ignoring that because he’s not big on those kinds of vacations. The thing is that you don’t have to share one mind in order to be a loving couple. It’s much more fun to have different opinions so your relationship is more interesting and dynamic. After all, opposites totally attract, right? So don’t show your love by copying his beliefs. It’s not a good idea.
6. Copying His Drinking Habits
It can be complicated when each partner has a different relationship with alcohol. If you don’t drink that much and your boyfriend does, it can be pretty disruptive to your life to try to keep up with his partying habits. That can get old pretty quickly if that’s not really your thing. Staying out late when you want to go to bed early is not the best way to show someone that you love them. On the other hand, if he doesn’t drink but you love to enjoy a good glass of wine every once in a while, it’s not necessarily in your best interest to give it up. If you enjoy alcohol in healthy and moderate ways then it can actually be good for you and a totally fun thing to do while you’re connecting with friends. If you wouldn’t be as happy without having the option of drinking in your life, then don’t give it up for him. It won’t show him that you love him.
5. Pressuring The Pace Of The Relationship
When you love someone, you are going to want to be all in when it comes to the relationship and you’re going to want things to happen as quickly as possible. But putting pressure on a relationship is not necessarily the best way to show that you love the person that you’re dating. First of all, you guys might be moving at slightly different paces, and pressure is never the way to remedy that. Communication is always important but that doesn’t mean giving your BF unreasonable ultimatums or trying to force them to take the next step when things are going perfectly fine the way that they are. Sometimes the desire to rush things comes from an insecurity about the relationship, not from a place of real love. There’s a difference between expressing your love and expressing your desire to lock someone down so that you can force them to love you.
4. Accepting A Lack Of Commitment
While forcing commitment onto someone doesn’t show your love for them, neither does accepting a lack of commitment when you reach the point that you need one. There doesn’t need to be any sort of timetable on a healthy relationship, but if it’s been long enough and you feel like you should be together then you should not stick around too long if he’s not willing to give that to you. Sometimes it just takes some time for that to develop, but sometimes people will try to convince you that it’s fine to stay casual simply because it works in their best interest. This usually has to do with the fact that they also want to date other people, or they’re scared, or they don’t like you as much as you thought they did, or they don’t feel like they have time for a girlfriend. None of those scream love, so accepting it isn’t a way to show yours either.
3. Being Intimate When You Don’t Want To Be
There’s always a bit of give and take in a relationship when it comes to being intimate and how often it happens, and it’s reasonable to sometimes do it with your boyfriend even when it isn’t your idea. But that doesn’t mean that you ever have to sleep with him if you really don’t want to for some reason. Giving in when it’s a solid no in your gut is not a way to show him that you love him. It’s a way to show him that he can control you. Sleeping together is not a commodity and it’s not something that belongs to someone else, you are always in control of what you do with your body. That being said, you shouldn’t be withholding as a way to exert your control over him either. Taking any power plays out of your bedroom life is generally a good idea, since that’s where things can start to get pretty messy. Always be straightforward about why you do or don’t want to do it.
2. Staying Quiet When You Have Something To Say
If you’re the type of person who always says too much too soon, then learning to reel some of your words in can be a good thing. But you should never feel like you need to hold back your true thoughts or feelings simply because you know that he doesn’t want to hear them. If a guy isn’t capable of listening to you, then it doesn’t bode well for the relationship to give in to that as an attempt to show him that you love him. Don’t make the mistake of assuming that biting your tongue is what he wants either. Anyone who cares about you is going to want to hear what you have to say even if they don’t agree with it, and if they don’t for some reason then they probably aren’t the right person to be showering with love. More often than not the other person will know that you’re holding something back and then feel frustrated by your lack of communication on the matter.
1. Not Telling Him That You Love Him
Timing is everything when it comes to saying those three little words, but eventually, you just need to tell your boyfriend how you really feel about him. Not telling someone that you love them when you do is not an effective way of letting them know that you love them. He might already love you too, perhaps he’s just waiting for you to say it because he has no idea. We tend to think that other people know what we’re thinking but they often really don’t. You’re walking around wondering if too much love is shining out of your face when you look at him but he’s worried about what his own face is saying and maybe he’s not even noticing you at all. Being too shy to express your love doesn’t work in the long run. If he’s going to be scared by your admission, then maybe you should speak your truth and then let him be scared. Something to think about, right?
Featured Image: Love shall overcome by arefin03 on deviantart